Can We Stop Pretending Traveling With Kids and Keeping a GPA Are Easy?

Okay, I need to vent out.

Last spring, I was sitting on the floor of an airport in Rome (yes, an actual floor). I was sitting between a charging station and a bin, along with a 4-year-old half asleep on my lap. And right in front of me, I had a Google Doc open on my laptop, and it was written in bold “2,300 words due in 5 hours,” and at that point, I had written only 400, I guess. I know, horrible.

But that is not the end. The crap kept going, actually. Right in that moment, my kid dropped her ice cream and cried for nearly forty minutes over it. I was sleep-deprived. I was knackered. But my approach was clear: Que sera sera!

Well, while I was trying to process everything, I picked up my phone. I saw my school classmate who just posted a reel with her toddler twirling in a piazza. You know that soft music, golden light caressing her cheeks? And the caption was, "This is the life 🌷.”

I wanted to throw my phone into the Tiber.

Yes, I was trying to process, but you know that feeling when you are struggling in a situation and right in that moment someone comes up, making it look aesthetic and chill? Oh my god, I lost it in that moment.

I am not saying that traveling with kids is a thing. It is. But the version of it people post online and the version that actually happens, which you deal with, are two different realities. One is a Wes Anderson film. The other is more like… Uncut Gems. Occasional beauty buried under a lot of screaming.

I was in my second year of a child development degree when my husband got a work posting in Portugal for 4 months. We thought, um, okay, why not make it a family thing? The kids would learn so much, and I could study from anywhere. It would be an adventure. And obviously we are cool, flexible people who figure things out, duh.

But reality hit soon. And we realized that we are not always like that.

When you are in a different country, everything is off. Not just the clocks, but your entire routine and life rhythm are gone. My kids’ sleep schedule was wrecked for the first three weeks. Which meant MY sleep was also wrecked. Which meant I was trying to write child development theories with four hours of sleep. Trust me, in all 32 years of life, I was not a bed person. But that time made me fall in love with my bed, pillows, and that comfort of being in PJs and just being yourself.

That made me feel like sleeping again lol.

Okay, coming back to academia. So my deadlines were set in UK time. While my brain was somewhere over the Atlantic.

I had a lovely professor who emailed me asking if I was ‘keeping on top of things.’ I replied to her, 'Absolutely, yes, totally fine,' and the second after hitting the send button, I slumped over my kitchen counter and just… stayed there for a while.

Okay, so there was this one specific week when we were in Porto. Instead of being someone who was in a complete breakdown at that time, I’d say this was one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited in my life.

We had an amazing day. The kids were obsessed with the colored houses along the riverfront. My youngest one pointed at water, saying “bonito”—she had picked that up from somewhere. And I nearly cried because it was too cute, and also I was knackered and running on nothing.

Then we came back home, and I received three emails from my course coordinator. An assignment on the childcare model, which I had not started yet. I had to cook a meal. My oldest one needed a bath. My partner was on a work call. And I was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at my laptop screen as it had personally wronged me.

That was the night when I looked up childcare assignment help online. And guess what? It was a massive success! I found a service that helped me understand the theoretical frameworks that I had been missing the whole time. I then wrote my assignment, and my grade was fine. I was fine. We survived Porto!

I am not here to give you a lecture on productivity and managing things, because I do not need to. But I want to share the things that I figured out after two months of failing:

Find the quiet window and treat it like it is sacred. Yes, I know I have been venting about my kids too. But every morning, give yourself some time (a calm hour) at that window. That window is yours. Not for Instagram. Not for unpacking. For studying. Even if you are at a cafe table with one earbud in and a toddler (not yours) is staring at you from the next table. That is your window.

Second, use every resource without apologizing for it. It can be classmates’ notes, study services, or voice-noting yourself while walking so you can transcribe later. Your mom is on FaceTime talking through a concept with you. Whatever it is.

Lastly, talk to your kids about what you are studying. My six-year-old once asked me a question randomly. She asked, ‘But if kids already know what feels wrong, why do they need someone to tell them?’ You won’t believe it, but I used that question as the opening of an argument in my essay. She does not know that. But still.

The pretty travel content on Instagram or TikTok is not exactly lying. There ARE moments that look like reels. But at the same time, you would be staring at your laptop. Sitting on the floor at an airport. Or struggling to understand a difficult concept.

Life happens.

If you are a student-parent doing this or planning to do this, it is genuinely hard, and it is okay to admit it. Sleep when you can. Get help when you need it the most. Lower the bar on some things so you can keep them high on things that actually matter.

Let’s stop pretending it’s all golden hour and Wes Anderson films. What is your ultimate, un-aesthetic "Uncut Gems" parenting or student moment? Drop your chaotic confessions in the comments below—let's make each other feel a whole lot better! 👇